Trauma is real, it will control you or heal you! Your choice
Trauma is real. I used to be a get over it kind of girl. I’ve pulled myself up by the boot straps more times than I can count and have had my share of life’s hard knocks. But, I was always so jaded, get over it, let the past be the past. Be happy, attract good, affirmations, good vibes….. You get the jest, it’s your life take control.
It was September 19, 2020 and we wanted Orange leaf. In the car waiting for our light to turn green so we can turn east onto the road that will take us to the ice cream goodness. Unaware we were seconds from becoming front row to a show I will never forget. It was tragedy at its finest. It was the life of someone taken by a seminally senseless act so many of us have fallen prey too.
That night changed something in my psyche. I knew I needed to get some kind of help ASAP and did. But as I drove away from the scene I couldn’t help but wonder about all the emergency workers that deal with this day in and out. Man, they have to be strong, act tough, not show the emotional impact. OUCH!!
So here is the deal. Today I’m setting at HWY 275 and 13th street at a light in the turn lane waiting for the light to turn green to head South. When a red diesel truck intentionally BLOWS through the light as if in an action movie being made for theater.. As I see the side effect of what could have been, my body freezes, my heart races. I notice a couple of officers also seen this same thing and pray they caught him.
But I also notice as I drove my cellular memories where having effects. Knowing where I was headed I knew I couldn’t show up rattled. I called my safety net and talked it out. I was chocked up in the beginning, but by the end of the call I was laughing. The trauma, ptsd, cellular memories are real. If we bottle them up they just hang around wanting to bust out. If we allow them their moment and let them go we can change our reactions. Hmmm… what a thought.
We are taught to be strong and to act as if we can handle anything yet our spirit and bodies prove different daily. Just look around and see how much sick and suffering is going on. Explosions of fears that come out as anger as we know no other way. Vulnerability really does need to become part of our daily life in everyway.
As the great Bill Withers sang, “Sometimes in our lives we all have pain We all have sorrow But if we are wise We know that there’s always tomorrow Lean on me, when you’re not strong And I’ll be your friend I’ll help you carry on For it won’t be long ’Til I’m gonna need Somebody to lean on Please swallow your pride If I have things you need to borrow For no one can fill those of your needs That you won’t let show You just call on me brother, when you need a hand We all need somebody to lean on I just might have a problem that you’ll understand We all need somebody to lean on Lean on me, when you’re not strong And I’ll be your friend I’ll help you carry on For it won’t be long ’Til I’m gonna need Somebody to lean on”
We truly can heal this world together much faster and better together. Today my prayer for us all. We allow ourselves to become vulnerable when needed and reach out to our safety net and let them catch us. Or may you be someones safety net today. Cause heaven knows when I’ll need one again.
